Do you know a person (perhaps yourself) who has discouraged to encourage someone? Allow me to explain.
Some people cheer you on to your own personal finish line, while others (usually those who are closest to you) lovingly “encourage” you to embrace fear. Their eyes express love and encouragement, while their lips plant seeds of doubt and fear in your subconscious.
For example: If your passion was to skydive, join the Navy or (you fill in the blank) your friends may cheer you on, asking you to tell them of your progress, but your family or those closest to you may discreetly but lovingly suggest, “I know you can do it, but you must be the best of the best or you’ll never make it. I say this because you might get hurt and I love you.”
This is a general statement, but you can add the details later.
People who love you have the ability to discourage, ignite or snuff out your passion.
There are reasons for this.
- Your heart is open and vulnerable. This is a double edged sword and comes with loving someone. You must always be on your guard with those closest to you. In my upcoming book, 24 Hour Power I refer to this double edged sword as the Teeter-Totter Effect. Getting along with people, you must always weigh your feelings with their feelings.
- They are afraid of your potential success. When a person has a passion, you can see it in their eyes, in the way they walk and express themselves. They are centered. Your friends and family can see it and may react according to how they feel about themselves. “If they make it I will lose their friendship. They won’t think I am enough.” Who do they think they are! I am just as good. They won’t get far without me!” Both of these are the result of fear. Fear is the enemy, not the person. A person who is in fear is a prisoner of their own insecurities. If this sounds like DRAMA’ it is. But don’t play the blame game. No one wins at that game.
- The Bible says, Put on the full armor of God, so that you can make your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this world’s darkness, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore take up the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you will be able to stand your ground, and having done everything, to stand.… Ephesians 6:12
- So don’t blame them for their fears. Fear is the enemy. Its an emotion that has disabled them and has hid their own amazing potential from their eyes. Let them know you appreciate their concern, but you would like to try it anyway. Praise them for their own talents and aspirations; pray for them.